The Power of Belief

This is Dad (Joe) checking in today with an interesting story about Jaida. A few weeks ago we were all sitting around the diner table and the topic of “belief” came up. Now those of you who know Gia and I know that this is a touchy subject with us. Suffice it to say that we accept that other people can believe what they want, as long as they don’t try to force those beliefs on us (or our children). However, we are both quite adamant about not confusing facts with beliefs, and we want to make sure our children grow up knowing the difference.

Alright, back to the story - so to add to our discussion, Jaida brought up that one of the boys in her pre-school class does not believe in Santa Claus, but she does, “and that’s OK” she said. Gia and I were happy and a bit amazed that she seemed to understand what could be a rather abstract concept. However, then she added, “I don’t believe is space, though, and that’s OK too.” When we asked why she didn’t believe in outer space, she refused to talk about it, but simply added, “It’s OK to believe in different things, right?” Of course, we had to agree, and then just let it slide.

A few days later, Gia asked her again why she didn’t believe in outer space, trying to explain that some things are facts, and are not beliefs, citing that outer space is where the moon is, and where the stars are. Again she dismissed these, and repeated that it’s OK to believe in different things. Later, Gia and I discussed this and Gia said she was going to drop the subject for now, because if she really sat down with Jaida and discussed the difference between “facts” and “beliefs,” the original subject of Santa Claus would come up and what would we say then? Jaida has a bright mind and forgets nothing! We want her to grow up thinking rationally, but at the same time, we don’t want to kill her childhood completely by making her realize that Santa Claus might not be real after all, especially since she really wants to believe in him right now. That will come later, as it does for all children, and we don’t want to spoil that one bit of magic for her.

Ok, we now jump forward a week (and to the point of this rather long post). I was alone with Jaida, playing dolls or something, and she brought up the subject of jobs and what I do at my job. I mentioned that when I’m not on a boat, I look at images taken from cameras in space, and suddenly we were back to that strangely taboo subject. After telling me again that she doesn’t believe in space, I asked her again why. Then she sort of closed down in a way Gia and I both know means there is something she is afraid of. I picked her up and hugged her and said it’s Ok to tell me what’s bothering her (and that we don’t keep secrets in our house - another subject that we are keen on). She finally looked up at me with those big brown eyes and said that she didn’t want space to be real because she was afraid of falling off the Earth and floating away.

What a smart and clever girl, I realized as I hugged her and reassured her that that could never happen. Rather than confusing fact from fiction, as we had originally thought, she was simply protecting herself from the scary unknown by refusing to admit it was real. Jaida is much better now that she can talk about it, but it kind of makes you realize just how many beliefs are born out of simple “fear of the unknown.”

The power of belief can be strong and overpowering for children (and also many adults who have difficulty thinking rationally). I hope we can always find a way to help both Jaida and Jaxon understand the power of belief, own it (as Dr. Phil might say), and never let it control them.