The Power of Belief

This is Dad (Joe) checking in today with an interesting story about Jaida. A few weeks ago we were all sitting around the diner table and the topic of “belief” came up. Now those of you who know Gia and I know that this is a touchy subject with us. Suffice it to say that we accept that other people can believe what they want, as long as they don’t try to force those beliefs on us (or our children). However, we are both quite adamant about not confusing facts with beliefs, and we want to make sure our children grow up knowing the difference.

Alright, back to the story - so to add to our discussion, Jaida brought up that one of the boys in her pre-school class does not believe in Santa Claus, but she does, “and that’s OK” she said. Gia and I were happy and a bit amazed that she seemed to understand what could be a rather abstract concept. However, then she added, “I don’t believe is space, though, and that’s OK too.” When we asked why she didn’t believe in outer space, she refused to talk about it, but simply added, “It’s OK to believe in different things, right?” Of course, we had to agree, and then just let it slide.

A few days later, Gia asked her again why she didn’t believe in outer space, trying to explain that some things are facts, and are not beliefs, citing that outer space is where the moon is, and where the stars are. Again she dismissed these, and repeated that it’s OK to believe in different things. Later, Gia and I discussed this and Gia said she was going to drop the subject for now, because if she really sat down with Jaida and discussed the difference between “facts” and “beliefs,” the original subject of Santa Claus would come up and what would we say then? Jaida has a bright mind and forgets nothing! We want her to grow up thinking rationally, but at the same time, we don’t want to kill her childhood completely by making her realize that Santa Claus might not be real after all, especially since she really wants to believe in him right now. That will come later, as it does for all children, and we don’t want to spoil that one bit of magic for her.

Ok, we now jump forward a week (and to the point of this rather long post). I was alone with Jaida, playing dolls or something, and she brought up the subject of jobs and what I do at my job. I mentioned that when I’m not on a boat, I look at images taken from cameras in space, and suddenly we were back to that strangely taboo subject. After telling me again that she doesn’t believe in space, I asked her again why. Then she sort of closed down in a way Gia and I both know means there is something she is afraid of. I picked her up and hugged her and said it’s Ok to tell me what’s bothering her (and that we don’t keep secrets in our house - another subject that we are keen on). She finally looked up at me with those big brown eyes and said that she didn’t want space to be real because she was afraid of falling off the Earth and floating away.

What a smart and clever girl, I realized as I hugged her and reassured her that that could never happen. Rather than confusing fact from fiction, as we had originally thought, she was simply protecting herself from the scary unknown by refusing to admit it was real. Jaida is much better now that she can talk about it, but it kind of makes you realize just how many beliefs are born out of simple “fear of the unknown.”

The power of belief can be strong and overpowering for children (and also many adults who have difficulty thinking rationally). I hope we can always find a way to help both Jaida and Jaxon understand the power of belief, own it (as Dr. Phil might say), and never let it control them.

Shots!

Jaida survived her doctor appointment. She received not one but two immunizations ... she was less than thrilled when she found this out last minute. However, she might be the bravest 4.5 year old ever. She went to the appointment knowing she was getting a needle. She didn't do any of the following (all of which I expected would happen) cry, whine, or plant her feet and refuse to move forward. We talked a lot about what it was going to feel like ... a poke and stinging ... and the great treat she would get afterwards.

She ended up getting her first varicella vax and the doctor decided to go ahead with her 5 yo MMR vax also. This way at her 5 year appointment it will be nothing other than pleasant seeing as how there will be no shots of any kind.

When the nurse gave Jaida the varicella vax Jaida just winced a bit. The MMR made her nearly cry but by the time she was getting wound up it was already over. The promise of a pink kitty beanie baby and a cupcake from Starbucks was enough to make her very happy. I had a MMR booster before I started college .... I remember that one hurting quite a bit.

Talking about Presidents

We have gone to Chick-fil-A a couple of times in the last couple of weeks. In their kids meal the toy is not exactly a toy but rather a set of flash cards bound by a ring. The cards have pictures of our Presidents on the front and a short bio and a very small picture of the first ladies on the back. We are sitting at the table and Jaida is flipping through them showing us which ones are on money when she looks up and says there are no girls in here. She seemed quite dismayed that there were no girls on the front of the cards. Joe and I explained that in the history of our country having Presidents there has never been a female (or girl in Jaida lingo).

I am still a bit conflicted as to which dem candidate I will vote for. I like them both and think either would make a great POTUS. The extremely liberal feminist in me is screaming that I should vote for Hillary. The idea that my daughter could be raised in a time where having a Madame President is just normal makes me positively giddy with happiness. What better way to illustrate that as a woman Jaida is fully capable of achieving anything her heart desires.

I can't wait to vote in the MD primaries and you better believe Jaida will be going with me when I do it.

Fuzzy memories

My entire labor with Jaida is still quite a blur. I suppose because it was SO long and I was SO tired I just don't remember much of it. Morning turned into night and repeat a couple of times ... that is all I really remember at this point.

The other day while driving to work some music came on and suddenly fuzzy memories of laying with Jaida came flooding back to me. It was odd though because I couldn't really place the memories. They weren't recent memories but she was generally the same size she is now. After a bit I realized they were from the night Jax was born.

It was sort of a whirlwind of an evening. My water broke right around 7pm. After that point the contractions didn't take too long to get ramped up. Around 10 p.m. I was already settling down in my bedroom to try to relax all the while everyone else was bustling through the house getting last minute things finished up, eating, etc. After a bit I heard Jaida in her bedroom sobbing while Joe tried to soothe her to sleep. She was just too excited and ramped up and tired all at the same time. I got up and went padding into Jaida's room where she immediately launched into my arms. I shooed Joe and my sister out of her room and just curled up on her toddler bed with her and held onto her. After a few minutes she asked me why I was breathing funny and I told her that my belly was squeezing pretty hard to try to push her brother out. We laid there for a bit while Jaida felt the contractions and talked about all the new stuff tomorrow would bring. Her goodnight music was playing on the cd player. Eventually, she settled down and fell fast asleep. At no other time have I been so uncomfortable and completely overjoyed and relaxed at the same time.

A very happy memory.

SAD

This entry is not directly about the kids ... maybe it is about them in a round-a-bout sort of way such as "I have no patience to deal with them right now" but that is about it.

EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR right about mid-January I start feeling down in the dumps (is that an actual term? it seems odd). I never get what I would think full-on depression is like but I feel blah. It is usually at its worst come mid-February and by the first day of Spring I feel that renewed sense of being and happiness but I seem to have to go though the winter blahs first. I have never been to a doctor about this and have never been officially diagnosed with anything. That is the beauty of the internet I can diagnose myself with Wikipedia or even better yet WebMD without having to go to the doctor and commune with the sick people and possibly catch something worse than my minor case of SAD. I love the internet!

Anyhow, I am thick in the heart of the winter blahs. If I had an un-limited supply of cash I think I would just up and move to someplace warm and sunny for the winter. I do wonder though if I would still have the blahs ... they would probably just be called something else. I am not a big fan of medication (don't have a problem with others using meds - just not for me) but I do wish there was something like Botox for the brain. Something that could make me superficially happy just long enough to get me to Spring.

ho hum ...

School

Jaida will be starting full day kindergarten in the public school system in the Fall. I seriously cannot believe that my baby girl is going off to real school soon. Anyhow, she needs to get her varicella vaccination before she can be registered. I was really hoping she would get the chicken pox (and thereby natural immunity) before she turned five but as it seems no such luck. She is not going to be pleased when she finds out she is getting a shot next Wednesday.

Shhhhh .... please don't tell her until I think of something to bribe her with!