Difficult Parenting Moment

Maybe I should make this a recurring topic of this blog because there seem to be many more difficult parenting moments now that we have two children that are both big and wise enough to be up to no good - often at the exact same time.

This is one of those times where I have to say I have no idea how a single parent deals with an issue like this seeing as how Joe and I had issues with how to deal with this and there are two of us. Jaida was in a bit of a raucous mood yesterday evening. Not mis-behaving necessarily just on the hairy edge of not behaving all evening. Bath-time came and the kids get in the tub together as is their normal. They have a little foam disc that they were each taking turns holding with their teeth while the other took it away using her/his teeth. Seemed like an innocent enough game at the time. So much so that Joe asked me to go downstairs and get the camera since it was a cute photo op ... and it was until the blood curdling screams were sent forth by Jaxon. I had turned my back for the briefest of seconds to set the camera outside the bathroom door and not sure what Joe was looking at but it definitely was NOT Jaida biting her brother on the finger - HARD.

Jaxon screamed for what seemed like forever. Judging by the volume of his screams I half expected to see his little nub of a finger floating in the bathwater. When we finally came to our senses and realized Jax was screaming and Jaida was trying to melt into the toy net with her hand over her mouth. We figured she must have done something so we asked "what did you do?" - definitely not one of our finer parenting moments. She did not answer so we inspected Jax and found deep teeth marks on his middle finger. No broken skin but it was quite a bite all the same. Jax was still screaming like he had been violated. We get everyone out of the tub and at that very moment Joe and I look at each other and realize we have absolutely no idea how to handle this situation.

I wrap Jax in a towel and take him in the bedroom and leave Joe to deal with Jaida - which he does with a very stern voice I might add. I finally get Jax to stop crying ... he is a sensitive little guy. Now Jaida is in her bedroom bawling at high volume. I meet Joe in the hallway and we switch kids ... I think I heard Joe mumble something about good cop/bad cop as he was heading downstairs to give Jax his nightcap. I talk to Jaida very calmly and get her to finally tell me why she felt the need to bite Jax. First answer "I was hungry" ... Jaida and I both had a little chuckle at that answer. Then she finally admitted she just wanted to know what it felt like. I offered to show her ... but she declined. When she declined we had a long talk about how she knew it would hurt (that is why she declined having me show her) yet she still bit Jax. How it was wrong to do that, blah, blah, blah. When all was said and done she calmed down a bit but still wanted her daddy and was very upset until he came back up to remind her that he always loves her no matter what. She goes through all the rotten things she can think of that might make someone not love her (in her little world these scenarios are pretty limited) and Joe tells her that even when she does X he will still love her no matter what. She drifted peacefully off to sleep.

I think this might have occurred partially because there has been a fair amount of biting going on ... Jax is working on another tooth and gets a bit nippy - only with Joe and I though. This morning both Jax and Jaida woke in a great mood. Jaida was filled with guilt and remorse (apparently) and was VERY affectionate and willing to share with Jax. Jax was his normal happy self and from his actions I would say does not remember the events of last night or at the very least is no longer bothered by them.

The entire event made me realize how hard it is to parent when you have two kids of differing ages and needs. One kid needs to be disciplined for hurting their sibling and the other needs calming because they have been hurt. It is hard to know where to start. We are fortunate that there are two of us and we are equally involved in the parenting of our children so we could divide and conquer. But what if Joe had been on travel? Not sure what I would have done or what order things would have happened in but guaranteed the whole event would have been more difficult to deal with.